Identity has always been a touchy subject for me. Who am I? Where do I fit in? Am I loved? Do people like me for who I am? Why am I not more like this? Or why can’t I be more like that? These are just a few of the questions that haunted me regularly. I have always been a bit shy and reserved. Sharing my emotions or even just understanding my emotions has been very challenging. I grew up in a house where trust was broken. Masking your feelings, failures, and weaknesses were practiced daily. I believed that toughing out your problems on your own, made you strong and independent. I didn’t understand the beauty in weakness and vulnerability. I never let anybody in, but deep down, I longed for someone to show an interest in me, my pain, my struggles, and my needs. I so greatly desired to be pursued and emotionally attended to. I needed acceptance, not rejection. Have you ever felt this way? Are you feeling this way now? Here’s a little something that helped me…
“Identity is defined as who you are. It’s what makes you who you are; it’s what makes you unique.” I have lost my identity and I have been so desperately searching for one that I could place my happiness and self-worth in. During this time of confusion and desperation, I began basing my self-worth on the amount of friends I had, whether or not I felt people liked me. I also placed my self-worth on how successful I was in athletics, relationships, work, school, and life. My successes in life felt like nothing compared to my failures. I would never feel like I had enough friends, like I was truly liked by others. I would fail in athletics, I would fail in work, I would fail in school, I would fail in EVERYTHING. Yikes!!! But here’s the reality, I’m a failure. WE are failures. And that’s OK! Why? Because our identity does not rely on our successes and failures. Our identity is not found in earthly things. Our identity is not dependent on what people think or say about us. People may call you nerdy or weird, they may also call you pretty and athletic. You may be bullied, you may be admired and praised. But guess what, THAT DOESN’T MATTER! God says, these things are not who we are, it does not define our identity. The only One who gives us an identity and can tell us who we are, is God. He is our identity. We were made in HIS image. And He made us perfect in His eyes. Each part about you was so carefully and uniquely constructed, and with PURPOSE. There’s a reason why you were made the way you are. Embrace it, love it, and rejoice in it. You are LOVED. You are ACCEPTED. Praise God for making you in His image and sending His Son to save YOU so that in Him we can be new and we can have a TRUE identity, an identity that can never fail. We may fail, but God will not. Fix your eyes on God and you will find your true identity. Do not be afraid to face rejections on this earth, do not be afraid to let people in, and do not be afraid to fail. In our failures and in our rejections, we are reminded of our Creator and the success and acceptance we can find in Him. Take chances, go out, make friends, enjoy the many blessings God has given you, use your talents, love and be loved. When you face rejection and failure, turn to God. Be reminded of His grace and love. Be reminded that He created you in His image. He created you with purpose. He accepts you. You are loved.
1 John 4:4-6
“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood.”
John 15: 4-5
“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”